Got a big fat slap with the old reality fish last night. Didn't really need it - not at the end of this week, believe me. It's been a hard week. They happen. But I got home to find all 3 of our ducks had perished. Well, I don't know for sure if they had perished when I got home, or if it happened between me letting the dogs out and letting them back in. I'm thinking the latter though. And that's tough, because the dogs have been left out there much longer than they were last night, unattended and nothing has happened. We've observed them with the ducks and they've been alone with the ducks and its always been fine. Not this time. This time, I have no more ducks and I feel horribly guilty about that. I should have known: Dogs will be dogs. I should have remembered that the dogs aren't human and they have a nature much different from our own. They don't understand that the ducks were our pets, they don't even understand that the ducks are dead now. Vikki keeps trying to go down there, looking for them. She clearly doesn't get it. She's a dog. And I'm the human - the one who should have protected the ducks. I failed.
Husband really liked the ducks too, so we might get some more. We'll just have to be a lot more careful this time and remember that the dogs are dogs. Its very tough right now not to be totally pissed at the dogs - they couldn't help it, we never really taught them any different so they didn't know any different. But I refused to pet them last night and I didn't pet them this morning either. It's mean though, if you think about it, because they don't understand WHY I'm not petting them (or talking to them, or even looking at them much), they just think I'm a big old bitch who doesn't love them anymore and they don't understand why. Jazzy (the Australian Shepherd) is really the most heart broken. She is a serious velcro dog and this cold shoulder thing is killing her. So I'm all guilty about that too - I hate being mean to the dogs, I hate thinking that they think I don't love them, but I just can't bring myself to love on them. This sucks out loud.
In other news, we're going to get the guinea house tonight (too little, too late for the ducks) and we'll put it together this weekend. I'll try to help, but my first part of the CPA exam is Wednesday, so I'll have to study too. The guineas will go out there for a couple weeks, while we get the area fenced in more securely so the dogs (and other predators) can't get in there, then they'll have a little grassy area to go into during the day. They will still get locked up at night though, because no fence (that we can afford) is racoon proof. So we're having dinner with the in-laws tonight since the guinea house is at their house. I don't really feel like being social, but whatever.
At least the weekend starts in an hour and 55 minutes and next week is a short week, so that's good.
On the way to work this morning, it was raining a little and cloudy and I literally saw a cloud with a silver lining. Now, I just need to find the figurative silver linings.
Herb & Onion Cheeseball Bites
1 year ago
I am sorry about your duckies, but remember that dogs don't know good and evil. Those are human values that we assign to them, and by withdrawing affection, in the end, you're hurting yourself most of all.
ReplyDelete(That being said, are you sure the doggies were even responsible? Could it have been some wild animals?)
I am so sorry. We get so attached to the little beasties that share our lives :-(
You're absolutely right - and I thought about these words when I got home Friday night. The dogs don't realize what they've done, I can't punish them for being what they are.
ReplyDeleteOh and yes, we're pretty much certain it was them, just by the way it was done, when it happened, etc. I'd love to blame something else, but realistically, I can't.