Pseudo-Friday

Today is my last work day for this week and that is made of awesome. Tomorrow I'm taking my 2nd part of the CPA exam and my level of freaking out in increasing by the hour, which is not cool. Ever since my last attempt at college (you know, the time when I actually graduated) I've been a horrible test-taker. I panic. I forget things that I really should know. I get nervous and start zoning out. Before I know it, minutes have passed by and I'm just staring at the test thinking about a zillion other things. It's a problem. I once got a 38% (did you even know that was possible??) on an accounting final because I completely lost my shit and was just putting down wrong answers and stupid things and I knew I was putting wrong answers but I just had to put something on the paper and get the fuck out of there. Fortunately for me, I had good enough grades in the class up to that point that I still managed to get a B, even with a 38% on a weighted final. But still.

So here's the problem - on the 1st part of the exam, I kept it together really well, I viewed it as a learning experience and I wasn't nervous about it at all (really, I wasn't). I was thinking clearly, I read the questions, took my time, it was all good. And what happened? I fucking failed it, that's what!! So now what? Now this time, it doesn't feel like a practice run - it feels very important and I don't think anyone is going to be understanding if I don't pass this one (least of all - me!) and I'm very, very, very nervous about it. And that scares me because I don't know how to control it (you'd think after 75 years in school I would have learned...but no) and if I go in there and wig-out and forget every single thing I've studied (things I don't feel like I really know in the first place) then I'm fucked. And not in a good way, my friends.

Yeah, so, that's where I am right now. Fun, huh?

Then, today I got a big tax return dumped on me and it has to be finished by the end of the day and the guy who owns the company has about eleventy billion kids and grandkids and all of their returns are supposed to be done (by yours truly) by the end of August. Oh, and did I mention that I'm going to be out tomorrow and then we're going on vacation and I won't be back until Wednesday?? No stress there, none at all. Way to make me panic right before the exam AND ruin my vacation. Thanks a lot. Frankly, I have a lot more things to say about work right now, but I've learned from the experience of other bloggers that isn't a good plan, so we'll just leave it at: Grrrrr....

Here's the plan: (I'm hoping a plan will help me chillax - HAHAHA I LOVE that word, it's so delightfully dumb!!)
Tonight:

• 4:00pm - leave work, promptly, assuming the aforementioned tax return is complete.
• 4:45pm - get home (barring natural disaster and assholes who can't drive)
• 4:45pm - 5:45pm - continue studying, hopefully finish up the last few chapters worth of multiple choice questions.
• 5:45-6:30pm - make and eat dinner, feed the guineas
• 6:30-8:00pm - go over some more multiple choice questions, look-up a couple formulas that I don't know, brush up on a few things that I didn't do well on the multiple choices for.
• 8:00pm - STOP STUDYING, give my poor brain a chance to chill before it is taxes beyond measure tomorrow. I might work on putting a top coat on the hallway that Husband primered last night, maybe just the woodwork or something, anything brainless that I don't have to think about. I also need to sew a button on a pair of his shorts and finish hemming some work pants for him, maybe I'll do that.
• 10:00pm - go to bed, so I have plenty of sleepy time before tomorrow.

The plan for tomorrow:

• 6:00am- get up, let the dogs out, shower, etc...the usual
• 7:00am - leave the house, head to the testing place. It only takes a little over an hour to get there usually, but there is construction around UofL's campus, so I want to leave PLENTY of time.
• No later than 9:00am - get signed in at the testing site - chill the fuck out - DON'T FAIL